


Bad day

by LittleTurtle95



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Loss, Minor Character Death, Protective Alec Lightwood, Protective Isabelle Lightwood, Protective Jace Wayland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29978994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleTurtle95/pseuds/LittleTurtle95
Summary: Maryse is not in the slightest having a bad day.When Alec brings her his son Max to spend time with her, she knows he's being unreasonable.When Isabelle passes by and offers to help her with her paperwork, she knows there is no need to.When Jace asks her for advice about the piano, she knows this is illogical.She is not having a bad day, really.She just want to work in peace.She just want everything to stop.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Maryse Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood & Maryse Lightwood, Maryse Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Maryse Lightwood & Max Lightwood-Bane, Maryse Lightwood & Robert Lightwood
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Bad day

**Author's Note:**

> The Circle Week day 2.  
> Maryse.

“ _Moooom_!” the scream pierced the air and Maryse huffed. 

She tried to roll her eyes, but she couldn’t help but let a smile slip on her face as she did.

“ _Mooooom!_ ”

She quickly wrote a fire message to let his son know her location and looked up from the documents piling on her desk, the smile still on her lips.

“Mom!” the boy, the _man_ , bursted in with a kid in his arms. “ _Mom_!”

“Maaaaa!” cried the baby snuggled in his embrace, with a proud toothless grin.

“By the angel, Alec. We talked about this. There's no need to yell like that, you could have sent me a fire message. Or, you know, called me.”

“ _Maaaaaaaaaaaaaa!_ ” yelled Max.

“I could have, but he likes when I do that.”

“ _Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa_!”

“Okay, enough now bluebell,” said Alec, half annoyed and half affectionate.

As a mother herself, Maryse knew that emotion very well. Seeing Alec acting like that made her heart warm.

“Ma!”

Alec sighed.

“It's your fault, you should have known better. Now he's going to scream that word all day.”

“Probably,” said Alec, with a small smile. “But that's going to be _your_ problem, not mine.”

She sighed, and adjusted a lock of dark her that had slipped on her forehead. “And how so?”

“I have an emergency meeting and Magnus is at the Spiral Labyrinth. I thought I could drop him here for a few hours.”

“Oh Alec, you know I need at least a short notice.”

“I mean, I could always ask Jace. I probably should. I'm sorry, if it's a bad day…”

“It's _not_ a bad day. Now give me my nephew and go to your meeting.”

“ _Ma_!”

“Shush, bluebell,” he murmured. “Are you sure? Really if it's a bother-”

“It's not. Give me the kid Alec,” Maryse said, standing up and coming closer. 

Alec sighed, but he handed the baby to her.

Max smiled his best and brightest smile. “I happy here with ma. I’m love her.”

“I am not your mother, silly,” she said, ruffling his head, carefully avoiding the horns.

“ _Maaaa_!” the baby protested. 

Seeing the hopeless look she was giving him, Alec laughed. “You’ll do great. See you for lunch!” he said, then after a few seconds he quickly added under his breath “ _I_ _loveyoumom,_ ” and before she could say a word more he ran out of the room.

“Wait, Alec!” she said, but he was already gone. “I love you too.”

She groaned. Her son was emotionally constipated just like his father.

“You love Max?” the baby asked.

She knew he was referring about himself, but the words still made her heart clench.

“Oh baby, of course. I love Max too.”

* * *

When Alec came back to take his son, she was already feeling lighter. 

With Max it was always like that, the baby was a ray of sunshine, her greatest joy, the warmest spot in her already too cold heart.

She got back to her documents, when a knock at the door made her jump on her seat.

“Yeah?”

“Mom?” The voice that came from the door was sweet and hesitant. “May I come in?”

Maryse sighed again. She knew she wasn't going to get her papers done that day.

“Of course, come, come,” she said, and the door slid open.

Her beautiful daughter came in, a discrete smile on her lips. “How are you doing?”

“I’m trying to work, just like I always do. Do you need something?”

Isabelle shrugged. She came all the way to her, heels clicking on the marble floor, then she sat gracefully on the chair in front of her. “Simon had to tell Clary I don’t know what and asked me to come with him, so I thought it could have been okay to say hi.”

“Of course it’s okay to say hi. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Dunno. Maybe it's a bit of a bad day.”

“It’s nothing of sorts, Isabelle.”

The girl smiled wider. “Can I help you? What are you trying to do? I would have never imagined it last year, but I miss the paperwork.”

That sounded like the biggest lie ever told in the history of humanity, but Maryse didn’t say that.

“Are you sure? Shouldn’t you be with Simon instead?”

She shrugged. “I’m _always_ with Simon. He’ll survive.”

“He asked you to come with him, maybe he needs you.”

“He didn’t! At all, he-”

“Isabelle, you literally told me that one minute ago.”

“ _Oh,_ ” she said, her cheeks slightly flushed. “He did, yeah. He totally did… but he’s with Clary now and they have their thing, you know… I just don’t want to look like the psycho girlfriend and all that…”

Maryse looked at her in suspicion, one brow raised, then her expression broke in a soft smile.

“Fair, I guess. I could use a little help, now that I think about it. Thank you.”

Isabelle’s shoulders relaxed, and she adjusted on her seat to make herself comfortable.

“Don’t mention it.”

They fell in a comfortable silence, scribbling notes and counting funds in peace. Every once in a while the girl made a snarky comment about one of the names she read on the documents, names of the shadowhunters she knew that sometimes appeared on the pages.

Maryse had scoffed at the first one, chuckled at the second, and ended up laughing for every one after that.

“Okay, I gotta go now. I have to do… _something_. See you, mom. Thanks for the company.”

Maryse knew she should have said _no, thank_ **_you_ ** _,_ but it would have meant acknowledging what Isabelle had just tried to do, so she didn’t.

“You’re welcome.”

Isabelle looked at her like she was about to say something. Maryse felt a wave of love and pride wash all over her and clean her anew. The girl opened her mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Bye. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

* * *

With the paperwork now finished, she took a book from the shelf and opened it. She never finished work so early, four eyes were indeed better than two, after all.

Isabelle had been very helpful that afternoon. 

She sighed even lighter than after her morning with Max, but that aching knot still hurted inside of her chest.

 _At least I can read for a while_ , she thought.

She never had time for that lately, too much work.

She barely made it through the first chapter when someone knocked on the door.

 _Oh dear lord,_ she thought, with a groan.

“Come in,” she said, already half regretting it.

The door opened slowly and as she looked up at who just entered all the resentment for the interruption vanished completely.

“Maryse…” her golden boy said, stepping in. “ _Mom_ ,” he added, barely audible.

“Jace, dear, what is it?”

“I… uhm, I am trying to get this song right, but something sounds off and I don’t understand what it is. Could you listen to me for a while and help me?”

“You usually ask Clary for this kind of thing.”

“Clary is with Simon!” said Jace, shrugging. 

“Well, at least I can appreciate the consistency,” she muttered.

“What?”

“ _What_?”

Jace let it go, shaking his head. 

Maryse had always loved those golden locks. She asked herself how she could not have seen the Celine in him for all this time.

“So,” he said, clearing his throat. “Do you want to listen to it or what?”

“I had nothing to do anyway,” she said, quickly standing up. “Sure, let’s go.”

“Only if you want. If it’s a bad day…”

“It’s a _wonderful_ day,” Maryse said, cold. She sighed and her voice softened. “What song did you say it was?”

“I didn’t. It’s _The Blue Danube_ , by Strauss,” Jace said, taking her arm ever so elegant. 

“Really, Jace? That’s my favourite song.”

The boy bit his lip. He looked genuinely confused. He was a way better liar than the other two, Maryse had to give him that.

“Is it?” he asked, surprised. “I had no idea! What a lucky coincidence!”

“What a lucky coincidence indeed…” she muttered.

They walked arm in arm through the empty corridors of the Institute, chatting mindlessly about their day. As soon as they got to the piano room, Jace smiled bright and asked her to sit.

She looked at him, serene and proud, that boy she helped to raise and was now a wonderful man, with his brave spirit and his big heart.

Jace started to play and her heart filled with the soft but fierce notes of the song. The dreamlike sound, sweet as honey, soothed her and calmed her heart.

She closed her eyes and listened, letting go of the stress of the day, and started tilting her head in time with the song, going with the flow as her heartbeats slowered.

There was nothing off with the song, and Jace made no mistakes just like always. She didn’t mention the fact that he didn’t really need mentoring, because they both knew that even without saying it out loud.

By the time the song ended, she was already much happier than before.

“Thanks for listening to me. Maryse, I... I love you.”

The woman smiled. “I love you too.”

* * *

“Hi,” she heard, but she didn’t look to see the one greeting her.

She didn’t need to. She would have known that voice anywhere.

She didn’t ask how he found her, either. They used to go to that spot in the garden every time, when they were younger.

She liked to look at the stars and he liked to look at her looking at the stars. It was a win win situation.

She still liked to look at the stars, but she hardly doubted he liked to look at her looking at the stars, now.

“What are you doing here, Robert?”

The man sighed heavily, and sat beside her on the grass. He didn’t try to touch her like he would have done years earlier, ending up with his hands all over her and rolling on the grass, the stars long forgotten.

“I had a bad day.”

Despite feeling better, despite the fact she had tried to convince her kids and herself that she was doing great the whole day, she said “I had a very bad day, too.”

After a moment of hesitation, she leaned on him and let her head rest on his shoulder. Robert’s strong arm embraced her, firm and steady.

“You know,” he said, his voice unusually tight, “I’ve been with Rafael this morning. He already knows a lot of shadowhunter tricks, the boy’s incredible.”

“Let me guess, Alec had an emergency meeting and Magnus was at the Spiral Labyrinth.”

“Nah. They both had to do some shady stuff at the shadow market, something not suited for children.”

“Mh,” Maryse hummed. “ _D+_ for effort. They should have stuck with the same excuse.”

“Maybe they don’t think we would want to see each other, maybe they assumed we were never going to find out because we don’t talk anymore.”

“I wouldn’t blame them, if that’s the case. We really kind of don’t.”

“Kind of,” said Robert. “Jace asked me for advice about fighting tactics this afternoon. I don’t think he really needed them. In fact, he sounded like he already knew everything about them... but at least we trained for a while. It was nice, I guess.”

“I listened to him play the piano this evening. That was nice, too.”

“Isabelle helped me with Inquistor documents this evening. It was very nice of her, I think.”

“It was. She helped me with the Institute documents this afternoon. What a nice girl. Very funny.”

“Indeed. Did your day get better?”

“A lot. Did yours?”

“By far,” said Robert. “But I still don’t feel good.”

“Yeah, me too.”

They fell into silence. The knot in her chest that had lessened during the day was now hard and burning inside her ribcage.

“Twelve years old,” she said at last, her voice on the verge of breaking. “It’s a lot. Next year he’ll be a teenager already. Can you imagine?”

She felt Robert shake his head. She still hadn’t looked at him once since he first arrived. “No. I really can’t. He will forever be the kid.”

“ _Our_ kid,” Maryse whispered. “Do you think if he hadn’t… if he weren’t… if he… do you think we would be celebrating now, if he were here?”

Robert laughed. A heavy laugh, drenching in grief. “You know we wouldn’t. We have never been fond of the others’ birthdays, his made no difference.”

“Well, we should have,” she said. “We should have celebrated them. All of them, maybe if we did… maybe…” she didn’t know what she was trying to say. She wasn’t making sense, she just wanted to complain and be miserable.

“They turned out fine,” Robert said. “They turned out fine even without birthdays.”

“No thanks to us. We should have done better.”

“We still can do better. We will do better. We _are_ doing better.”

“Do you think… do you think he was sad? Do you think we gave him nine miserable years? Do you think we failed him as well? We never made him happy? Do you think he didn’t only live a brief life, but a sad one too?”

“Maryse, I… I…” Robert’s voice broke and he cleared his throat. “Hell I have _no_ idea. I’m sorry. I have no idea.”

Any other person in the world would have reassured her. Any other person in the world would have said _don’t worry, he was a happy kid, the happiest kid on earth, he loved you very much, he knew you loved him even if you never told him_ , but not Robert.

Robert wasn’t one who sugar covered lies. She had always liked that about him.

“It won’t get better. It’s never going to get better,” she said.

“No, it’s not.”

“I’m sad.”

“I know. I’m sad too. I’m sorry.”

She sniffed and he held her tighter.

“I hate bad days,” she whispered, finally feeling boiling tears running down her cheeks. 

“Me too.”


End file.
